Maybe...

    Maybe it's that I'm feeling sentimental.... or maybe I've been thinking too much today.... or too much lately period....Or maybe it's that I'm inspired... Maybe it's the opportunity to be surrounded by so many positive and passionate people at once... all trying to sort through this thing we call life.... who have all had their share of challenges, bad decisions, or never thought they would qualify as someone to give any kind of advice on success because deep down inside they didn't feel that they had achieved any certain level of success themselves.... though in the eyes of all of us, they most certainly had. Their words resonate inside me....even now.  I think of what it would feel like if it were me in their place.  Of what it would be like standing there, before a large auditorium filled with wondering eyes, and sharing some of the most difficult things in my life with a group of complete strangers....the things that have made me who I am today...the fear of what they would think...what they would say... struggling to make it through answers, trying to give some half-wit advice about success without wavering, and knowing that I absolutely must in order to make a difference in their lives....

    Today, I learned, or was reminded, of many things... to stop worrying about running the entire marathon, but to run the mile you are in.... that being "fine" is something I create and have the power to change into something real.... that with every mistake or situation we encounter, we take with us into the future, one heavy load at a time.....weighing us down even more... That we have the power to draw anything on our canvas of life that we desire... the only one holding us back, is ourselves.... to stop feeding into unhealthy relationships that don't allow you to be your authentic self.  I know, it's sounds a bit like a therapy session, but absolutely necessary.

     Do not let your struggles or your "situations" define your life.  Let them change your life and make you better.... stronger, more equipped to help someone, when they find themselves asking how could this possibly be happening to them.  Not everyone is dealt the best hand....but you were dealt the hand in front of you and you have no choice, but to play the best hand you possibly can.... I read today that "great art can only come from a place of immense pain, and that the resulting work is beautiful because it is motivated by the purest and most authentic of emotions:  sadness...."  Don't allow yourself to linger there for too long... immerse yourself in it, scream at, cry your eyes out at it, cuss it out, grieve about, create something extraordinary from it, and then tuck it away in the past where it belongs.... in a place where though you will never forget it is there, you make a conscious decision to leave it where it most absolutely needs to be left...

     When asked to write our own legacy today... a legacy of how if there were no tomorrow, or even no remainder of today how I would like to be remembered using the statements I am... I stand for... I am committed to, I very selectively and carefully chose this -- "I am, a possibility of anything.  I stand for, life, love, adventure, friendship, and opportunity.  I am committed to, making each day count." What would your legacy be?  How do you want to be remembered?  And how are you going to make "it" all count?  Live less "one days" and "somedays" and make today the day.  Time is precious.  It's easy to loose ourselves in time...in the daily mundane tasks....the in-extraordinary moments of a day.  Don't get lost -- not in sadness, in trials, in challenges, in the past, in the future... Just enjoy the ride. I know it sounds cliche, but seriously, roll the windows down, play the music on the radio so loud you can feel it vibrate through your entire body... sing at the very top of your lungs.... and know that in that very moment... everything is exactly the way it should be.... and be grateful for it... truly grateful. Because in the end, it is all these little moments that make up the greatness of one's life..... it's all those little moments that we will look back with fondness and think "wow, those really were the best days of my life."  Life has a funny way of telling you exactly what you need to hear when you need to hear it, but you have to be listening.  Not just "hearing," but genuinely listening... with your heart and your soul... because it is there, where the real answers are... inside you.... deep, deep inside you... in your intuition, in your thoughts, in the dark corners of your heart, in the hope that lives within you... whispering the words that you so desperately need to hear...

The question is, are you listening?

-- End sentimental random rant --

Bonnaroo, Bonnaroo, Bonnnnaarrrooooohooooo

                                           ******  BONNAROO 2011  ******
                                            
There are some experiences in life that can not be described through any language... They must be lived.  Bonnaroo, is one of those experiences. 

If you were like me a year ago, you're probably like Bonawhat? Manchester, TN... Where the hell is that?  Are you crazy, who the hell wants to go on vacation to Manchester, TN? No showers?  You're going to live on a farm for 4 days? You do know it's going to be like 95 degrees plus humidity right?  Have you lost your mind....

Yes, yes I have.

And I am so glad I did.

What started out as just a great idea, evolved into one of the most epic experiences of my life. 700 acres of farmland filled with a sea of tents and campers as far as the eyes can see.  With 147 bands from every genre of music from Eminem to Loretta Lynn and over 100,000 attendees and volunteers, Bonnaroo has been dubbed the Woodstock of today's generation.

The word Bonnaroo actually means "A really good time" and was popularized in 1974 by a New Orleans R&B giant Dr. John (see Wikipedia "Bonnaroo).  And that is exactly what it was.  Of course, we had our fair share of challenges.  As Bonnaroo virgins, no matter how much time you spend reading forums or trying to anticipate what obstacles you may face, you really don't know what to expect until you are there. But the Bonnaroo Gods were with us every step of the way.  It may have been the high spirited vibe that followed us from the moment we got into the car from sheer excitement that this idea was really evolving into something real.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, we met was unbelievably helpful and shared whatever they had, whether it was water, shade, beer, clothes....knowledge, experience, and their souls.  After being stuck on a freeway for 7 hours and only moving 4 miles (think the worst LA traffic ever times 10), you meet a lot of really awesome people..... And the crazy thing about being in that traffic was that not one horn ever sounded.  Everyone just got out of their cars, hung out, shared grilled cheese sandwiches and talked about what acts they were most excited to see or their past Bonnaroo experiences.  Even the State Troopers were great busting jokes and keeping us entertained  (Please see FB friendlist for proof).

There are definitely better ways then others to experience Bonnarro (see my sister Jesse Jones' blog on "Bonnaroo:  Lessons Learned for more details).  Obviously we were lucky to have an RV, which is like staying in Beverly Hills vice Compton -- Our neighbors ended up being the same guys we had been in traffic with the entire night and we created our own little Bonnaroo Community.  I have to give a shout-out to Christopher Equipment Rental Center who do not normally rent generators, but not only found us one from about 30 minutes away, tested it, discovered it was broken, found us ANOTHER one, brought it to the Manchester store AND helped us load it.  Manchester hospitality coupled with the great people are what made this experience so amazing.

I could go on and on about how great Bonnaroo was.... and unless you were born in the 60s and went to Woodstock or you nostalgically recall your first Bonnaroo experience, you'll never know what I'm talking about until you experience it for yourself.  Despite record temperatures, difficult living arrangements, exhaustion, and virtually partying like rockstars for four days, I didn't meet one mean person.  No one was rude, pushy, hateful, or annoying.  EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE was awesome.

Looking back, I know now I will never experience something quite like it ever again. Yes, you can keep going every year like so many do, but nothing is as memorable as your first time.  It only happens once.  AND I am so grateful for it.  The people are what make Bonnaroo as unforgettable as it is.  I am glad I was able to share this experience with my sister Jesse who made the entire trip a reality.  If it wasn't for her, I may never have had the opportunity.  But like all things in life, it's all about the journey and the people that make this life what it is.  And everything, EVERYTHING happens for a reason -- and I am forever grateful for the countless blessings and unforgetable moments in my life -- like this one.

Gratitude

I think there comes a time in everyones lives where they feel the lowest they have ever felt.  Those times when it is difficult to gather the hope and belief that the light really is at the end of the tunnel.  Where waking up has lost the feeling of a new beginning and has become more like another dreaded moment required in existence.  A time when you feel so heavy from the weight of the world that it is difficult to summon the will to carry on through what seems like your insignificant daily tasks all to fall asleep with the thoughts of Dear God, how can I possibly do all of this again tomorrow..."

And it is those times especially, that we must challenge ourselves to find the gratitude and thanks in every single day.  We must learn to focus on these complex times in our lives and reflect upon them as life lessons and not just adversities.  It is during these difficult trials that we must learn to be grateful for what it is we actually have and not distracted, devastated, torn, jealous or distraught over those things that we do not.

And so the next time you are feeling down and like there is no end to your suffering.... and it seems like that light is really only a shimmer.... take a look around you..... When you see an individual inflicted with MS, be thankful that you are healthy.... when you read about Soldiers fighting in Afghanistan be grateful that you are resting peacefully in your bed.... when the guy at Quiznnos remembers exactly how you like your sandwich down to the Chipotle Mayo and no onions, thank him for it. 

By appreciating the things we do for each other, we encourage each other to do more nice things.  We "Pay it forward" if you will, without even realizing it.

Don't just say "Thank you" -- Write it down, leave them a note, call that 1-800-how-are-we-doing number and tell them that Carla or Ben really helped you out today and it made your day just that much better.  Because in reality, they made your LIFE just that much better and you just that much happier.

You never know if one simple act of kindness might just change the world -- and I promise you one thing, your situation may not result in the "It's a Wonderful Life" ending, but you will realize that despite feeling like you've hit "rock bottom" you really do have a lot to be thankful for.

Hope for the Holidays

So I must say, normally around this time of year, that is of course the time directly following Hanukkah Birthday (the entire month of November) until shortly thereafter January, I generally feel all around gloomy.  Some would say that it is the "Holiday Humbugs" or "Seasonal Sadness." I refer to it as basic depression.  Growing up in California, I think Christmas is a little taken for granted.  Sure it's all about traditions of digging around in the garage for the Christmas boxes, going to Albertsons to pick out a tree, hanging those special ornaments, yelling at your sister to reach a little bit higher so you can get that strand of lights just perfect completely unforgiving of her 5 years younger and therefore 1 foot shorter self... and of course there is the baking, the delivery of cookies to neighbors and your local Holiday Market checker.... but despite the holiday traditions, there still tends to be something about Christmas that just feels so commercialized....

I guess I most realized it this year as I was standing at WalMart looking at the "Hi-Ho Cherry-O game" special edition and my husband says "What's Hi-Ho Cherry-O".... What is Hi-Ho Cherry-O I thought to myself!?  Are you kidding me?  Who doesn't know what Hi-Ho Cherry-O is!  That's like saying you don't know what Trouble is or Aggravation...It was at that moment, that I realized how can you possibly purchase a child a Hi-Ho Cherry-O game when they probably already have their own pet tiger on XBOX kinect that mimics their every movement....or Dance Dance Revolution 5 million.... Really?  And then I thought, who wants to play a stupid cherry counting game when they could be fighting villains with Epic Mickey? And then of course, there is the prospect of buying them a toy.  What child doesn't LOVE to get a new toy?  But the chances of buying them a toy they already have is so high due to the instant gratification factor that plagues America... that feeling of "I can't wait until Christmas to ask for...." is no more...

This blog is not intended to blame the gaming industry for ruining Christmas or WalMart for their "falling prices" that gives parents the ease of purchasing basically anything their child desires at below than reasonable prices (thanks to Chinese sweatshops, but that's another blog in itself) right now... So much changes in one lifetime.... Maybe these are just the feelings that come with growing old.  I can only imagine how our grandparents must feel.  They have seen everything from an AM/FM radio invented to the 4G network... I don't know, it's like in the Polar Express when no one can hear the bell ringing anymore... 

Despite all of it, this year I must say, I have felt much more of the Christmas Spirit then I have in years....which is especially odd since I don't get to spend it with all of my family.  I am glad that I didn't sacrifice my traditions because of the "poor economy" or the desperate need to save money.  I am happy to to hear the UPS guy say to me "At least you still buy presents and mail them, everyone else just sends gift cards if anything at all."  I don't know about you, but I love the feeling of receiving a package.  I love the unknown something that hides beneath that brown cardboard and the excited feeling that it gives me. I love that someone thought of ME.  That they saw something or made me something because they love me or because they miss me or just because they were thinking of me.  And even more, I love giving that same feeling to others. I have focused on MAKING myself feel the Christmas spirit.  I have purposely immersed myself into Christmas.... Every weekend following Thanksgiving I have gone to a Christmas Craft show, baked, wrapped presents, mailed newsletters, decorated, witnessed what 4.2 million Christmas Lights really looks like and forced myself to BE JOLLY despite the Washington Post headlines of falling housing markets, rising unemployment, continuous questions of the war in Afghanistan, tax reform...  

And that is why I still have Hope for the Holidays.  That despite the commercializing of Christmas, the constant bad news, and "desperate times," that the basic concepts of giving, love, sharing, and joy are still prevalent in people and therefore in the holiday season.... The Christmas Spirit resides in all of us, because the Lord has made it that way... and sometimes it may be hard to see it and it may be hard to feel it, but when someone helps you with your groceries, or delivers cookies to your office, or comes by your house just to say hello, you know it's there...when your child tells you a crazy story, or your significant other rambles on and on and on about what seems like nothing important other then the desire to just be sharing it with you, or when a memory of a loved one lost pops into your thoughts and makes you smile, it's there.  We just have to make ourselves see it.  We have to make ourselves feel it and believe it. 

We have to find a way to hear that Christmas bell ring.... Whatever it takes because without it... the holiday season is just extra work, too much money spent, and a hassle... before you know it, you're looking in the mirror and seeing Scrooge staring right back at you.  Fight the urge to be a Scrooge, mail a Christmas card today.... go on, do it.  Go out, buy a card, a real stamp, take it to the post office, wish your postman a Merry Christmas and thank him or her for their hard work this holiday season.  Then go home, make yourself a cup of Hot Cocoa and watch everyone's favorite George Baily from the old Baily and Loan.... Feel that Christmas spirit when everyone comes by to help George....And be happy when Clarence gets his wings...Go to sleep hoping that when you wake up, everything will be covered in a white blanket...You'll be glad you did.

*** Blogger ***

Well, I can definitely say that I never thought I would become a blogger... I know many detest the term "blogger" but really, that's what you are.... One who blogs.  I suppose I will look at this as my way of sharing with the world the complete and total random idiocricies that go on inside my brain daily... and for those who care, they can follow away.... and for those who don't, I hope that someday you will find one piece of what I say useful or applicable to your life.... because really, if you can change one life, maybe you can change the world.